So I’m a horrible person

Well, well, well. Look who’s come crawling back! (Hint: it’s both you *and* me!)

For those of us using the Gregorian calendar, it’s been since March 1st that I’ve updated the blog. One could say I’ve been Joy of Missing Outing. But, in reality, I nearly died and then just kept doing other things that weren’t writing.

Okay, so I didn’t nearly die. I did get terribly sick for all of March, and was convinced by Terrible HMO Kaiser Permanente that my gall bladder was going haywire (instead of the stomach flu I assumed I had) and then I spent several weeks getting crazy tests and fretting that the end was near. Seriously, all you doctors out there reading this: Don’t take someone with an anxiety order and probably just the flu and tell them they’re wrong and that it’s probably something worse and that they’ll need surgery. THIS MAKES ANXIETY WORSE. DON’T DO IT. I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF READING WebMD AND CONVINCING MYSELF I’M DYING ON MY OWN.

But! In good news, it really was the stomach flu all along and I’m fine. Fuck you, Kaiser.

Let’s see, so what did I do after that? Well, not a lot of my goals. I’ve kept making soaps and cleaners for the house. I’ve been cooking, but not as consistently as I should be. I took a trip to Seattle’s Emerald City Comicon for mine and hubbers’ seventh Nerdiversary. We tore out our front yard and reseeded it with normal people grass instead of the tweekerfest that was going on out there. I took the kiddo up to Seattle for Everfree Northwest, a My Little Pony convention (she liked this more than could be considered ‘a little’). I turned thirty-mumblemumble and went on a superb birthday beach trip weekend with five dear people and had a great time.

Maybe we should recap the goals? That seems like a good place to circle back to, you know… for continuity.

  1. Drink less beer
    I am not unhappy about how this has been going. AND! Through the process of trying to figure out if my gallbladder is fucked up, I had my liver thoroughly tested and it’s fine so I’m good to go.
  2. Read more
    I… have been checking books out and slowly reading them. But it’s Game of Thrones season, y’all.
  3. Write more
    Well, we know how this has been going.
  4. Watch more movies
    Not been watching many movies, but it is TV season so I’ve been watching my shows. Game of Thrones, Grimm, Better Call Saul, etc. They’re like weekly serial movies, right?
  5. Get better sleep
  6. Eat better food
    Could always do better at this, according to waspy bitches on the internet.
  7. Exercise more
    I haven’t been going to the gym much. I’ve been thinking about going back to Jazzercise, which through the years has always been the only exercise I’ve actually enjoyed. Laugh all you want, whatever. It’s like Zumba without the requisite Latin flair, and Zumba is a legitimate exercise class that people don’t make fun of, so…
  8. Cook more
    Need to get more consistent with this. Back on the bandwagon. Cliché cliché whatever.
  9. Learn to sew properly
    I finished sewing class, but I haven’t sewn much since. Shall have to break out the old Viking here soon as I do have projects on deck.
  10. Go on hikes more often
    Went on a bit of a hike at the coastal birthday weekend, and it felt good! Perhaps I’ll go this weekend. I’m sure hubbers would be glad for this.
  11. Spend no more than $100 per week on groceries
    Ugh, this one. I haven’t been super on top of it like I’d like to be, what with getting sick and then that false impending death. It’ll be tough going as we creep into summer, with camping trips and other outdoorsy weekend plans all the time.
  12. Make some of our household supplies
    Hey – this is a thing that I’ve still been doing! I get a gold star!
  13. Homestead more in general
    Best intentions! I did just acquire both water bath and pressure canners for my birthday (thanks mom!) so I need to, a) learn how to can, and b) buy more jars, and c) decide what I want to can. I think, first up, green beans! Canned green beans are gooooooooooood, people.
  14. Focus on more one-on-one interactions with friends
    I may have been over-vigilant on this one. I haven’t been to a party in ages, and I haven’t seen many people one-on-one either. I Googled, “What is that word when you don’t feel like seeing anyone” and the response was a long list of articles advising you on how to handle your depression. So, maybe I’m depressed?

    Oh, I just remembered: Misanthrope.

    I don’t think I’m depressed right now, I just lack the energy for bullshit interactions for the last few months. Maybe misanthrope is close, but perhaps intense introverting is more accurate. I’ve interacted with but a small circle of friends that I feel good about. Maybe I should push myself to get out a bit more. I’m getting curmudgeonly.

  15. Run a 5K
  16. Find the joy of missing out
    Joy. What is ‘joy’ again? Maybe this was all some overly optimistic twee bullshit.

I’ve got some social situations coming up this weekend. My sister-in-law’s birthday, a friend’s going away party, and (most excitingly!) I’m throwing a Memorial Day barbecue in a couple days. I do like hosting.

A coworker once said that introverts like hosting, but not going to other parties. This is 100% true for me, especially lately. Hosted parties are on your own terms, and are filled with people you feel comfortable around. Attended parties are filled primarily with people you don’t know well and crushing self-doubt as you latch on to the two people you know and desperately attempt to avoid small talk with strangers.

And I think that brings us up to date as I skirt around the question as to whether or not I’ll be good at updating next week. Remember kids: promises are for perfect people!

2 thoughts on “So I’m a horrible person

    • Yes, absolutely! I might also just try and figure it out on my own. I have a book on the subject, and both my mother and sister-in-law have canned, so I might be able to get one of them to show me the ropes. I’ll let you know when I do it!


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